Get Over a Break Up – Things to Know on How to Get Over a Breakup

by george on November 21, 2009

in break up a relationship advice,relationship articles

get over break upGet over a break up is not simple to overcome, you know that time will heal you as you go along alone with your life. You need time to heal the wounds or else you’ll have a hard time in getting over a break up. You will face a lot of negative emotions after a break up like sadness, loneliness, or resentment. But don’t worry; if you experience those kinds of feelings, it is normal for us humans like you and me. People have the same experiences; you just need to know how to deal and face it.

The first thing you need to do is to learn to release the feelings inside your heart and deal with it accordingly. You can try to box a punching bag or scream as loud as you can to help relieve the depression. You can also try to start writing with a piece of pen and paper. Writing on a piece of paper has a deeper link to your mind and emotions. Write every feeling and emotion by hand that you are experiencing and I mean everything. It doesn’t have to make sense, just write everything what’s in your heart and mind. It will help a lot in releasing those negative feelings and start the healing process. When you’re done writing keep it to yourself and burn everything that you wrote.

Getting over a break up is easier to handle if you don’t isolate yourself. Don’t spend the first day of break up alone. If you have a job, go into work and if not, keep yourself surrounded with friends and family to cheer you up and forget the feelings inside your heart. The tendency is you may be tempted to call your ex or spend the day like a crying baby if you spend that day alone by yourself.

Make sure to talk about what happened. You don’t have to tell the whole town or everyone at your workplace, but you should have at least one person with whom to talk about the break up and your feelings. If you bottle up your emotions or wait days or even weeks or months to talk about the break up, you risk delaying the healing process.

Next is to assess or evaluate your decision and priorities. Ask yourself, what, why and how a break up happened. After you understand the answers to your questions, decide what should be your priorities then and from now. In this way, it will not only aid you in moving on but also avoid the same mistakes from happening again. The lesson you learned from the mistakes you committed are the best lesson you can learn. So when the break up phase is over, you will know what you should and shouldn’t do with your future love.

Almost all relationships out there are bound to take a wrong turn at one point or another. And sometimes, no matter how hard you fight it, they end up in failure. This realization would help you understand that couples do fight and break up so don’t feel like the world has suddenly turned its back on you if you find yourself in that kind of situation. This will test your strength of character-and how much you value and love yourself as a person after you get over a break up

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Ralph Wilson November 22, 2009 at 12:20 pm

When you first experience a break up, you think it is the end of the world, you cry, you just _know_ (and you SWEAR) you’ll never get involved again . . . but, of course, you do.

The best advice I received (upon finding myself entering into a divorce) was that I should not get _seriously_ involved for 1 year. Yeah, I know, that sounes like _forever!!!!_ . . . but, it isn’t really. ;-) Give yourself time to a) go through the stages of greif (because that’s what it is) and b) analyze the situation (and be honest with yourself here) and figure out the extent to which _you_ actually contributed to the break up. Then, go tell the other person you forgive them and then ask them for _their_ forgiveness . . . yup, you heard me, ask for _their_ even if you think it is mostly their fault. After all, if _you_ hadn’t gone out with them or asked them out the first time, it all couldn’t have happened.

Oh, yeah, one last _very_ important thing: LEARN from the experience. Figure out how _you_ contributed to the situation. Did _you_ select someone that you weren’t compatible with for the long haul? Did you do things that weren’t appropriate (even if it was just to look the other way or not notice when they other person did things you shouldn’t have put up with for so long ;-) ?

Then go listen to the country song “I’m Leaving’ Here a Beter Man” and _think_ about the lyrics.

(Also, just for fun, listen to “God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Crazy”. ;-)

2 apol November 22, 2009 at 1:32 pm

When you just experienced a break up, its like you’re undergoing the 5 stages of dying which has an acronym of DABDA.
D – denial
A – anger
B – bargaining
D – depression
A – acceptance
You can’t move on with your life without undergoing these 5 stages and it is normal.

Also nice songs and great advice…

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