Let’s face it, it really doesn’t matter if you’re a man dating a woman or a woman dating a woman or a man dating a man, that first date can be nerve-wracking! Your emotions are running high as your anticipation builds. You wonder what he will think about you and how the date will end up.
Gay men do not have as many role models to aid them in this maze of dates and mishaps. After all, few TV shows, movies and books depict the typical gay man out on a date. This means that many if not most gay men have to learn for themselves what works and what doesn’t and what is considered appropriate behavior for two men on a date.
This article provides some tips to help guide you through that maze but be warned, some tips may not be suitable for every man that reads this article. So the best advice is to read the article through and pick and choose to use any tips or ideas that you are comfortable with.
One of the first things to consider is the time before the date. Preparing yourself properly is imperative to you feeling at ease during the date. This of course includes paying close attention to personal hygiene, but it also includes what you choose to wear and where you go on your date.
Consider the fact that for instance; if you want to get to know your date you will want to be in an atmosphere conducive to conversation. While your favorite bar may be a great place for future dates, your first date may not go so well there. To begin, there’s little chance you will have the opportunity for a meaningful exchange of words, much less an in depth conversation that allows you to get to know and understand the person. Another thing about first dates is that they should be relatively short. Meeting at a coffee shop is a good choice, and so is a museum or the zoo. These places provide space for talking and something to do. If the date is going well you can always stay longer, but if it’s not you can keep it short and sweet.
Your level of comfort is important. Clearly, being dressed appropriately for the event or location is important but you should also consider that you want to be as comfy as possible. Don’t go overboard here, but do wear clothes that are not too tight or that make you feel self conscious about your size or other issues. You already have enough on your mind, you don’t want to stress about what you wear on your date.
Try to relax and just enjoy the time you have with this new person. Forget the fact that it’s a date. Be yourself and get to know the man you’re with. Even before your date you can work through a list of conversation starters. This will help prevent you from ‘freezing up’ and being at a loss for words.
Allow the real you to shine through. This will help to encourage him to do the same thing. There’s nothing worse than believing you have come to know someone only to find out later that they are not that person at all. Only by being yourself can you find a partner that will accept you for who you really are. That is how you find a truly compatible partner.
Take charge of your life by being yourself and allowing others to see that incredible person that lives within you. When your date is over you can decide whether you want to see him again or not. If you do, don’t play silly games about who should call who or when. Go ahead and tell him you’d like to see him again. If you didn’t find him as exciting as you’d hoped then be willing to accept the differences between the two of you as people and move on, but don’t discount him as a friend.
George Gomez is the founder and creator of Relationship Advice for Men and Women. Learn more about him here and connect with him through Twitter, Facebook and RSS.
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Danica Verga
August 2, 2010 at 7:33 pm
I got to this article through Facebook (a friend of mine posted it). After reading the article, I of course clicked “Like” and also reshared it. More power to you.
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