You saw a hot guy and the two of you have been dating for a couple of weeks now and having a great relationship so far. He’s good-looking, funny, and captivating, and eventually something around the great relationship doesn’t feel quite right. You indeed want this to work, because it’s been some time since you’ve dated anyone this long with an outlook of a lasting commitment and have a great relationship. But you still get a lot of significant unanswered questions as follows.
The places he goes on weekends.
You have observed from the first of your dating relationship that your man does not hang around on weekends or holidays. As a matter of fact, you do not see him too often on Friday nights, either. You have to question if he has a family out there somewhere, or any form of commitment elsewhere that is tied up to intervene with yours at any point. In reality, it is intervening already. Once you ask him how come he cannot come around on the weekend, he falters and stutters, but up to now, still bad alibis.
His family and friends.
After five months, you still haven’t encountered his parents, sister, or even his dog. He’s left you a dozen rationalities how come you can’t see his flat, none of them reasonable. You’d enjoy seeing his family-if he has, that is. Furthermore, it wouldn’t be an atrocious thought to be acquainted to his colleagues, neighbors, or friends. But up to now, none of that is occurring. There was one pal from college who was a great friend and passing over town and invited the two of you out for dinner, but that was it.
The kind of job he has.
Although he has imprecisely cited having an occupation somewhere, he doesn’t tell a lot about the job, the company, or his superiors. You don’t really recognize what he does or how much he makes. As a matter of fact, he’s often broke, which is why the two of you hang out at your apartment for pizza and TV instead of attending the movies or dinner.
If he will be serious to you or not.
This man deals life pretty easy. He doesn’t look to have any hassles or troubles, and he’s not particularly concerned in the future-with or without you. You’ve fallen under a somewhat foreseeable and virtually uninteresting dating pattern, and you’re curious if you could exist this way for the rest of your life even if things did get down serious.
If your man meets your needs.
Once you call for a shoulder to cry one, he pulls back a little, as if he’s not at ease with emotion. Once in a while you would like to dress up and leave, he’s quick to crawl in on a couch for a bit nap. He rarely displays more concern in your work, your family, or your hobbies. So what’s to love about him?
Whenever any of these, particularly in combinations of two or more, identify your great relationship, perhaps it’s time to move on. Unless you draw a confrontation and insist over matters to change, chances are they will not. And who would like to* force a person to pretend to like you, in any case? It could be time to give up and move on if your Romeo Is not displaying much enthusiasm into a great relationship.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
This list certainly looks one sided. Certain aspects of another person’s life can be, and often is off limits to others. That is, until a certain level of trust or openness is attained.
In fact, the purpose this article serves (in my uneducated opinion) is to arm women with these questions to spring on their partners and demand answers sooner rather than later.
Yeah i got you there, i wrote it this way to emphasize the right time in certain situation to have the break up.
There are a variety of dynamics that go into relationships. One of them is Dialectical Contradictions or tensions in relationships.
I hate to refer to wikipedia but it’s a great place to start:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relational_dialectics
Another concept to research is the phases of relationships. I do not have my textbook to refer to, but there are numerous articles available online.
Also would it surprise you to learn of self-fulfilling prophecies? An example would be having a pre-formed idea of how something will turn out and by having that pre-formed idea; you either consciously or unconsciously carry out choices/actions to cause the pre-formed idea to become reality.
Lastly, I believe in not “sticking it out” in a relationship just trying to make it work. The problem is there is so much abuse going on within relationships.
I agree with you Chris on the idea of “sticking it out”. Every relationship has its own problems and destiny has its own calendar when that problem will surface. Both couples are tested on how they will handle such kinds of problems and sometimes someone is still going on to fix the relationship even if its impossible to resolve and this leads to an abuse from the other. And also its very much unfair for the person who’s making the effort.
As for the article, those are just my point of view from personal experiences, from my friends and online research also. But still you gave me an idea where to start, thanks….
Well I will put words on it. Problem is relationships often start out with an agenda and that most often is the timeline to jumping in bed. This is rather interesting, if you choose a mate simply based on sexual attraction, could you emotionally “fall in love” after a period of time?
The kind of relationship parents or grandparents had, I would argue, started out in the reverse. People met, spent time together, and ultimately put effort into forming a bond where it would hit the pinnacle (in the bedroom). I feel the problem arose out of the Internet and people wanting instant gratification.
And about the article, those five signs would have to be consistant. People can have off days and seem to act/behave differently. More to the core if those actions or behaviors are not discussed, then I’d say its time to break it off.