We’ve all heard the saying that ‘love is blind’ – some songs, poems and made for TV movies seem to be built around this idea. But is love ‘really’ blind? It’s true that we are likely to meet someone that we are outrageously attracted to, and we focus in on all the good things. But do we really not notice the negatives?

The reality is that most of us do. Although we may find a person that we consider perfect, at the same time we do notice the little flaws. But it is because we are so ‘into’ the person that we either neglect to focus on those imperfections or we decide that the ‘flaws’ and quirks just add to what makes the person special.

Have you ever lovingly stared into the face of someone that you are in love with? If so, then you know exactly what I am talking about. You may notice that ‘he needs to shave’ or that ‘she is developing fine wrinkles around the corners of her eyes’, or perhaps your special someone has a pimple forming. But as you gaze at this person those things are just part of the person you love. You wouldn’t change them necessarily, even if you could.

If all goes well you and this person will spend years together. You will probably get married, buy a house together, and even have children. Somewhere along the line you are likely to look over at your partner and realize that ‘he needs to shave’ or that her wrinkles are deepening. But strangely enough, after developing a lasting relationship and lifelong partnership, these realizations are not always accepted in the same way. In fact, it is sometimes such little things that lead to partners losing interest in each other.

As the ‘little imperfections and flaws’ are noticed ‘in the light of day’, unmasked from the overwhelming honeymoon phase of a new love venture, the flaws may be perceived as just that – flaws and imperfections. This can be a real eye opening experience. And guess what, many of us ‘would’ change those things about our partners if we could.

However, this is not necessarily a negative thing, nor does it have to lead to a troubled relationship. Partnerships that are founded on the solid ingredients of friendship, trust, respect, open communication and unconditional love will certainly get past this eye opening experience and even grow stronger for it.

As any couple continues in their relationship the stakes get higher as each partner is seen for the person they really are. The reality is that in a partnership we completely expose ourselves to our partner. This makes us vulnerable in a way that we are protected from with other people in our lives. Is love blind? Sometimes — but if we stay in the relationship long enough we eventually see things the way they really are, and the love we have for the other person is what leads to our acceptance and continued love for our partner – even with his or her flaws.